Dead Meat
by Maiden of Mercy
Summary: Shane is Ace Merrill's girl but, like anyone with half a brain, she is terrified of him. And for good reason. Any one who keeps a good seven inches of silver switchblade in their pocket is somebody to be afraid of...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This isn't your typical Ace-meets-superhot-chick-falls-in-love-and-it's-all-gravy-baby story. This is going to be Ace Merrill as close as I can get to the character. I figured that, seeing as he was as bad as he was, he'd be one hell of an abusive boyfriend. So please do Read and Review, and I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible x**

I was shit-scared of Ace Merrill.

Heck, anyone with half a brain _would_ be. He was the toughest guy I ever met, and cruel with it. It didn't matter that I was his girl- actually, I think that made things a little worse –I was scared of him, just the same. He had a way of fixing me with those cold, cold eyes of his that put a fear in me nothing else could. One glance from him filled my guts with ice. Everything he'd ever done to me would flash through my head and I'd pray that he'd leave me alone. It got to the point where I didn't dare do anything he wouldn't approve of in case he did a number on me although mostly he still did, whether I'd crossed him or not. I'll never be sure if he beat his other girlfriends or if I was just a special case. Seemed I was good at getting him riled, anyhow. While I was with Ace, I must have felt his fists over a hundred times. Sometimes I even got the blade, but I'll get to that later.

So, as I said before, I ended up so terrified of getting a beating that I was always on my best behaviour. That meant no smart talking, no wandering off to see my friends and _especially_ no talking to other boys. I couldn't even buy myself a drink if I wasn't standing in his eye line. Ace kept me on a short leash and _no_ mistake. I started to hate him more than I'd ever loved him, even in the early days. And, thinking about it, I never loved him back then either. It was obvious he never saw me as anything more than an easy lay and... and a possession, I guess. And you know something? I resented that fact over all the others.

More than once I tried to leave him. The first time, I was just utterly sick of both him and Castle Rock and planned to start anew someplace in West Virginia where most of my relatives were living in tose days. My pal Annie-Lee was gonna give me a ride out, since she was heading up there herself. Crafty as a rat, I waited until Ace went out with his posse before packing my bags. Mom was suffering one of her endless migraines so wasn't in no fit state to hold me back, and my father could have been anywhere from France to Uranus for all I cared. I dragged my stuff out onto the sidewalk and waited there for a few long minutes. It was a while before Annie-Lee turned up. By then I was practically hopping with nerves.

"Annie-Lee," I said to her, twisting the sleeve of my jacket up in my hands. "We've gotta get out of here _now_. And I _mean_ now. If Ace gets wind of us leaving he'll thrash me and put a rock through every darn window in that car of yours."

"Breathe, Shane," she told me, tugging a coloured scarf nonchalantly through her hair. It was sort of brassy and curly, like something off a box of dye colour. It looked real pretty, shining in the sun like that, but now wasn't the time to spend preening."We'll be outta here before you know it. Ace doesn't know jack-shit about us hitting the road. As far as he's concerned, you're still sleeping and I don't even exist."

"Well, let's keep it that way," I said, and after dumping my stuff in the trunk I got in beside her and faced the road ahead. We drove cautiously; avoiding the main routes to make sure we didn't bump into Ace along the way. For a while we were real nervy. Every kid we passed looked like a criminal, and more than once we were convinced we spotted Ace's '52 Ford tailing us, high speed but subtle, like a Fed car or something. But eventually we both relaxed, leaning back into the hot leather of our seats as we listened to Elvis and Buddy Holly. The drive was sort of nice. There weren't many other people on the road, and the sky above us was this flawless blue. I think we started to think we'd finally got away from it all. We hugged each other one-armedly with stupid tears in our eyes, both of us grinning. Annie-Lee was just as glad of escaping Castle Rock as I was.

I put my feet up on the dashboard and closed my eyes lazily. Crooning along to the radio, I realised that for the first time in weeks I was happy. Annie-Lee was too. I could hear her whistling softly, the folded sleeves of her outsize shirt rustling in the wind. One freckled arm brushed my knee and we giggled hysterically as a static shock passed between us. It was starting to feel like it used to be, years ago. But then, just as I was dropping into a shallow doze, Annie-Lee cursed sharply and jerked the steering wheel so hard a bone clicked in her shoulder. I opened my eyes again, swinging my legs back down from the dashboard with a fat _clunk._ Annie-Lee was biting her lip and staring ahead in a blind, panic-stricken way that frightened the skin off of me.

"What is it?" I asked her.

She tossed me a look so wild and helpless that I guessed straight away.

"It's Ace. He's blocking the road," said Annie-Lee. "He's blocking the road, and we can't get past him. What in hell do we do?"

I followed her gaze and saw him, leaning against the hood of his Ford with all his gang clustered around him. Something winked in the sun and I knew that it was his knife, shivering lightly between two of his fingers. I felt that familiar chill pass through me as I looked at it. _Hey ho, old friend,_ I thought. _Not so nice seeing you again._

"Shane," moaned Annie-Lee, and her expression was so distressed that I almost screamed then and there. "Whadda we do? He's gonna kill us."

I didn't miss a tick.

"Turn around," I said flatly. "Do a U-turn, and up your speed as far as it'll go. We'll find another road and take that one."

"We can't," said Annie.

Her face was sweating so profusely that it glistened like a hunk of fat. All of a sudden, she didn't look so pretty anymore.

"Why not?" I yelled at her.

Annie-Lee didn't answer. She simply pointed to the wing-mirrors, struck speechless with terror. I looked, and saw three rough-looking guys stood behind us grinning the arrogant, dumb-fuck grin of a cronies who know they've done good. They must have slipped round in their own car without us noticing. Normally, I would have been wetting my panties at the sight of them. But by now I was so determined to leave that I didn't give one fuck about them. I was reckless.

"Run 'em down," I said grimly. "Run 'em down, and we'll still make it out."

But Annie-Lee wouldn't do it. She just sat there, gulping and shivering with her sweat-soaked top flattened to her tits with heat. I bawled at her to drive, begging her as hard as I could. Yet it was like she couldn't hear me. I even tried slapping her. Even that failed to gain a reaction. Desperate, I yanked her out of the driving seat and sat in it myself. I forgot that I had no idea how to drive. With a grunt, I slammed my foot down and gawped in slack-jawed horror as the engine spluttered and gave out. Later, I would find out that Ace had messed up the machine, but at the time I was convinced that God hated me. I'd never been a big believer in the old man, so I figured here he was, getting his own back. He'd picked a prime time to do it, too. I let out a violent shriek and kicked the car door so hard it dented. We were caught, and we knew it. Our luck had well and truly given we'd had any in the first place, that is.

I was forced to watch in paralysed dread as Ace strolled over, flanked on all sides by his worshipping crowd. They yanked Annie-Lee and I out onto the road. Somehow I tripped and fell down into the dirt. I tasted sand and burned rubber. I tasted death.

"What ya doing out here, Shane?" asked Ace in a mild, almost pleasant tone. He always had that way of saying things nice, like he was your old buddy roo, when he meant to twist your head off of you neck afterwards."Weren't you supposed to stay home with your Mother?"

This had been our agreement the night before. He 'd slapped me silly and made me promise not to leave the house, all because I made a fool of him in front of his ape-skull friends. This was an unforgivable offence in the mind of Ace Merrill. Now I found that I couldn't look him in the eye, knowing that I had disobeyed him. Makes me sound like a yellow belly, I know, but I figure even a gator'd turn up its gut if they got Ace mad.

"Mom went out," I lied. "And Annie-Lee's Aunt is sick. She wanted somebody to come up with her to visit the old lady, since she doesn't get much company these days. I said I'd do it. Ain't no crime."

Ace went silent for a little while. I could see him turning this falsehood over in his mind, tearing it apart word by word. It didn't hold up to scrutiny. Tossing it aside, he turned to Annie-Lee and sneered. His scrutiny fell upon her outlined nipples. His eyebrows quirked.

"That isn't what I heard," Ace said finally. One of his boys shuffled, and Ace tossed a thumb at him. "Timmy here says the two of you were skipping town together."

"Timmy's a fucking liar," I snapped. The boy flinched as if I'd struck him. Wish I had. "Why would I leave when all my friends are here? I think this guy's led you on with his shit stirring. I'm not going anywhere. At least, not permanent."

"Shut the hell up, you bull shitting Lizzie," said Timmy. His face was scarlet, cheeks blazing with outrage. "You and the red-head bitch are heading out to live in some shack together, like a pair of full-on faggots. So don't even den…"

I dived at him, but Ace got in there first. There was a sound like meat hitting a tiled floor and Timmy crumpled to the ground, clutching his stomach. There were tears streaming down his face. The wind had been knocked right out of him. That was one good thing about dating Ace Merrill: you could be sure no guy would ever call you names twice in a row. But this time I wasn't grateful. I just felt a sick, black ache that hovered close to pity as I looked down on the sobbing loser.

"Don't you ever call my girl a faggot again," said Ace, crouching grimly over him. "If you do, I'll cut your tongue right out of your mouth. You know that isn't how you talk to a lady, Tim. I'm surprised at you."

Timmy could do nothing but groan. Beside me, Annie-Lee shuddered and whispered something under her breath. It sounded like a prayer, but I'll never be sure. I put an arm around her and turned to Ace.

"Let us go see her Aunt," I said. "We'll be back in an hour or so. I swear it."

"That so," said Ace, unimpressed. He shrugged as if he didn't care either way. "Well, I'd better give you a ride up. That car isn't gonna move another inch, believe me."

I glanced at the smoking vehicle. I knew he was right, but I couldn't leave my luggage behind.

"Alright," I said. "You can do that. But first there's something we need to get… out of the trunk. Bags and, um, stuff."

I darted round and tugged my belongings out onto the ground. Ace stared at me. I sensed danger immediately in that fixed expression. In fact, I could almost smell it. No matter how I tried to worm my way out of this one I knew he had me cornered.

"I brought this in case… in case we broke down," I floundered, and Ace gave a dismissive jerk of the head that made my mouth slam shut. Annie-Lee grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed hard. She was apologising, in advance, you know. There was genuine remorse in that grip of hers. It made me feel even bleaker than before.

"Get in the car," said Ace.

It was an order I couldn't refuse.

Reluctantly, Annie-Lee and I clambered into the back and stared into our laps. I tried to comfort myself by thinking how long it would be until I would have to face Ace's wrath. He would _never _admit to having problems with his girl in public. He always saved it till after the last of his boys had trailed away and the two of us were alone. That was the time I feared the most.

Eyeball, who had slid into the front passenger seat, swivelled round to leer mockingly at me.

"You're dead, Shane," he mouthed. "Dead fucking meat."

And, with a nauseating certainty, I knew that it was true.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here we go. Ace is fully in this chapter, and doing what he does best. Please Read and Review xxX**

We dropped Annie-Lee off at her house. She gave me a hug hard enough to hurt and ran inside, not daring to look back. I didn't blame her. Ace's eyes were filled with ice, and looking at them _hurt_. It was partly Annie's fault I was in such deep-shit with him and _boy_ did she know it. She was through her front door like a weasel down a rabbit hole, and that was the last I saw of her for three weeks. I stared after her sort of forlornly as Ace pulled away down the road. She was lucky to have a boyfriend who adored her. The only thing _mine_ loved about me was my ass. I wasn't exactly the prettiest girl in town, after all. I was too much of a tomboy for that.

Really, I wasn't Ace's type at all. He liked the hot, popular girls and the downtown sluts. That way you got a good rap and a pleasant fuck all in one attractive bundle of female. So scruffy nobodies like me just weren't his style. But one way or another we'd ended up together, and although I'd never been exactly keen on the idea there was nothing I could do about it. Nobody ever _dared_ say no to Ace Merrill. Besides, he was very good looking and had a skilled silver tongue in his head. Word had it Ace could charm his way out of Death Row if all his guards were women (and hey, wouldn't _that _be a fella's dream). After two months of a solid relationship, I believed it. No other guy could have got me into bed right after blacking my left eye.

So there I was, sitting in the back of Ace's car with the mother of all chills running down my spine. He was clenching a cigarette between his teeth and talking to Eyeball, only keeping half an eye on the road. One of his arms was hanging out of the car, smooth and tanned and solid with muscle. I was well acquainted with that arm. Many a time it had grappled my throat and threatened to throttle me. Other times it had held me close as Ace and I made love on rumpled bed sheets. Or, more likely, in the back of his car after his hand had slid down my panties and made the all plans for me. Just as I was thinking this, I zoned in on Ace and Eyeball's conversation. It wasn't exactly what any self-respecting girl would like to hear.

"…And I'm telling you, that bitch was easy," said Eyeball, folding his arms, all casual, behind his head. "She must have screwed everything in town by now. I heard all the sluts in Derry are just like her. I might go check it out some time."

"Not having trouble getting laid here, are ya?" asked Ace. "If you wanna get your rocks off you can borrow Shane for a little while."

"Hey!" I blurted out, unable to stop myself. "What do ya think I am? A whore?_"_

The pair of them laughed at me, and Ace tossed me a mocking grin. On any other guy it would have looked friendly, but on him it was cruel and twisted. I knew all too well what he thought of me.

"I'm just joking, Shane," said Ace. "Why don't you chill the fuck out? If I was gonna hand you over to Chambers here I'd make sure I got every last screw out of you I could. And as far as I know you're still good."

Humiliated, I sunk down low in my seat. This seemed to satisfy Ace, for he forgot about me for the time being and changed the subject. We were getting closer to my house by now, and I expected him to slow down to drop me off there. Instead we kept on driving, heading towards the junkyard. I gulped soundlessly. There was only one reason he ever took me out there, and it sickened me to dwell on it.

He was going to kick the living crap out of me.

"Whoa, man, where we goin'? I thought we were gonna go play pinball or some shit like that!" cried Eyeball, gazing round in confusion. The dumb fuck.

Ace clapped him on the shoulder.

"Sure we are. This won't take long. Me and Shane have some stuff to talk over, that's all."

Eyeball relaxed, sniggering dirtily.

"Talk, _right_, I get ya. Guess I'll just go take a leak or somethin'."

"Go right ahead."

We pulled up within a cover of low trees. True to his word, Eyeball sauntered off behind them and left us alone in the car. I froze up at once. My mouth had gone completely dry and I could feel my gorge starting to rise in the back of my throat. By now Ace had swivelled right round to stare at me. His eyes weren't cold anymore. They were blazing at me like twin flames, blue and unforgiving.

I shivered uncontrollably.

"All right, Shane," said Ace. "You'd better start talking. And no bullshit this time, or I'll break your neck."

This was no idle threat. He meant it, sure as anything.

"I don't know what you want me to say," I told him nervously, rubbing my sticky palms together. "I _was_ gonna see Annie-Lee's Aunt. I wasn't lyin' about that, Ace. But maybe I was gonna stay for a couple of days. But that… that's all."

"A couple of days, huh?" Ace's lips quirked in sort of sardonic amusement. "Don't fuck with me, Shane. You were skippin' town and runnin' out on me. Weren't ya?"

"No, I…"

"Shut up, bitch."

Ace flicked the cigarette out onto the grass and leaned forward to grab me by the collar. I ducked, knocking my head against the door, and tumbled out of the car. Ace was quick to follow. He'd grabbed the back of my shirt before I could move and inch and was pinning me, face down, to the grass. His chest was warm and firm against me. We were so close that I could feel his breath on my cheek, and the buckle of his jeans digging into my waist. I squirmed awkwardly, butting him in the jaw with my elbow. Ace grunted and pinned my arm so far back that I could feel the tendons strain.

"Answer my question properly, Shane. You don't wanna go home with your guts comin' out of your mouth, do ya?"

"No, Ace."

"Good girl. Now do it."

Tears of fear and humiliation stung the corners of my eyes. I couldn't wipe them away, so they trickled into the corners of my mouth and down my chin. I felt like a total idiot. Crying wasn't something that came naturally to me. I was just so disappointed in my failure to get away that I couldn't seem to help it. Sobbing and stuttering on my words, I told him the entire truth as to why I left. Somehow, I ended up blurting out how much I hated him along the line. Sometimes, when you're so thick full of tears you can't hardly think, you start spilling beans that should never come outta the tin. My voice trailed away into a chilly silence that told me these particular beans should have stayed goddam put.

"You fucking whore," said Ace, quietly. "I knew it."

He wrenched back my head and smacked it into the ground, grinding my face into the dirt until I choked. Then he released it and did it twice over, getting more and more violent each time. Blood streamed from my nose. The sight of it scared me. I jerked myself back and forth, trying to roll free, but Ace was far too strong and heavy to throw off so easy. He tugged at my body, flipping me onto my back. His face was warped with rage.

"Listen up, slut. When I'm sick of fucking you, I'll drop you and find somebody else. Till then, you stick around. If you don't, I'll kill you."

As if to prove his point, Ace shoved his precious knife into my face and flicked the switch. The blade was bare centimetres from my left eye- close enough to blind me- and glinting wickedly. The sight of it horrified me. Ace only ever took it out on those who had particularly pissed him off. I didn't much like the idea of going round with a chunk cut out of me. So I did the only thing I could.

I yanked my fist out from under me and punched him square in the eye.

Cursing, Ace reeled backwards. I knew my chance when I saw it. Quickly, I wriggled away from him and scrambled up onto my feet. After moving back a few paces I tossed a look over my shoulder. Ace was standing up now. Grass was sticking to his hair, but I didn't laugh. He looked far too mad to stand for that.

"You're playing a dangerous game, you know that Shane? I wasn't kidding when I said I'd kill you."

"Oh, I know," I shot back at him. "I've known that for a long fucking time."

Suddenly I was filled with a reckless courage, the kind you get when you know you're already screwed. I didn't care about anything anymore.

My tears were forgotten, and fury took over.

"Let me tell you something, Ace," I said. "I hate you. You're a loony, a maniac. You hear me? A goddam _shit_-eating maniac."

The speech flowed out of my mouth like a stream of vomit I couldn't keep back. The second it stopped I gasped and smothered my flapping lips. Ace just looked at me without moving an inch. He seemed to be mulling this over, calm as you please. Then he threw himself at me so abruptly that I turned my ankle in my hurry to avoid him. Still I didn't stop. Limping awkwardly, I made a frantic break for the car.

I heard twigs snap underfoot as Ace pursued me.

"_EYEBALL_!" he yelled, and I twisted round just in time to see Chambers dashing out of the trees with his fly still down. It would have been funny if I weren't so distressed. He snatched the tail of my shirt as I darted past. I heard the coarse rip of material, closely followed by a screamed obscenity that would do a sailor proud. He didn't give up on me as I figured he would. He lurched after me, tackling my waist with both arms and lifting me off my feet.

"Get the fuck off me!" I screamed at him. I had one hand on the car door, so close to escape that I could almost taste it. I couldn't let anything stop me now. "C'mon, dick-face, do you have any idea what Ace'll do to me if he catches up with me?"

"Sure I do," said Eyeball. "But I'm more concerned with what he'll do to me if I let you go. So I'm sorry Shane, but you're just gonna have to deal with it."

"Fuck you," I hissed. I felt something touch my breast and turned, ready to give him the mother of all slaps. I found myself face to face with Ace. I'm sure you can imagine what followed, but if not I'll give you the low-down on an Ace Merrill beating. First, he backhanded me so hard I lost a tooth from the top gum. Then he gave me a couple of punches in the tits that would bruise for weeks. After that, the details are kind of vague. It's difficult to remember anything when your head's being bounced off the hood of your boyfriend's '52 Ford. Eyeball watched all of this with an assorted mixture of grins and grimaces on his face. Once it was over, he lit a cigarette and hissed through his teeth.

"You really messed her up, Ace," he said, stating the obvious. I lay curled up in the back seat and whimpered. The hole in my gum felt like another mouth all in itself, screaming and screaming "How are we gonna cover it up?"

"We won't have to. She'll just tell everybody how she had a catfight with her girlfriends. Right, Shane?"

I spat blood and nodded. It hurt too much to speak.

"That's my girl," said Ace, and kissed my busted lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I know it's short, but I'm doing exams at the moment :( So, please Read and Review xxx**

Ace didn't beat me again for nearly two months. This was a personal record for him. Once or twice he made a move as if to hit me, but he never did. He didn't dare. I think he was afraid I'd call the cops on him. Truthfully, I'd never have been brave enough to do something like that. But even if I had, I didn't need to- not for a time, anyway. Ace had started spoiling me. He kept buying me little gifts and treats out of the blue. Once he even got me a chocolate sundae that spilled right over the edge of the glass. I couldn't believe my luck. I ate it so fast I gave myself brain freeze within the first three seconds, and drooled ice cream down my chin. Ace looked rather pleased with himself. He leaned in to kiss me, stealing a mouthful of sundae right off my tongue. As much as it shames me to say so, I enjoyed it. I even kidded myself that he loved me, just for a little while.

Sadly, nothing lasts forever.

It was late summer when things turned bad again. Ace had been having a god-awful day (this was no excuse, but considering his personality it was almost understandable). He'd lost ten dollars in a bet and somehow managed to dent his car. This put him in a dangerous mood, so I tried my best to avoid him. However, he decided that he wanted me around while he played pool with the boys. This pissed me off. I'd wanted to take a ride out to work on my tan- not stay in some sweaty little club for hours on end. I knew Ace. He'd play at it till he'd rubbed the other guys' face in the dirt, and if that took three or nine games, he'd do it. This bored me silly. I complained to Ace, in politer terms, and he wasn't impressed. At first he demanded I stay put, but after a little persuasion he gave in and let me take a break. I left the club gladly, ignoring the mocking catcalls that followed me out onto the street beyond.

As usual, I wound up in the nearest store and headed straight to the refrigerators. It was a force of habit; Ace often sent me in for beer. Alcohol wasn't really my bag; I had my mind set on a bottle of cola. The weather was hot and humid, causing me to sweat like hell. An icy cold drink was all I wanted on a day like that. So I made a beeline for the nearest refrigerator to find that there was already somebody there. It was a boy, quite a few years younger than me and noticeably good-looking. I recognised him as Chris Chambers- Eyeball's little brother. We'd met briefly a few times. All I knew about him was that Ace hated his guts, but that wasn't surprising. He didn't like anybody who wasn't a Cobra.

Chambers turned to look at me as I slowed down beside him. His lips quirked into a smile.

"Hi," I said. "You're Chris, right?"

"Yeah. And you're…" He paused, before quickly reasserting himself. "You're Shane. Ace's girl."

"Uhuh."

There was an awkward silence. Chambers scratched the back of his head and glanced around the store. I knew who he was looking for and grinned reassuringly. Then I opened the refrigerator, bending down to grab a drink. The blast of cold air from inside made me shiver, but it was a_ good_ shiver, if you get what I mean.

"So," Chambers said casually. "You're ditching Ace, huh?"

I jerked up so fact that I whacked my head on the refrigerator door.

"Hell, no! Who the fuck told you that?" I said fiercely. "Jesus _Chris_t. Keep talkin' like that and I'll be floating down the nearest river by tomorrow morning."

I turned away, keeping my mouth shut so that he wouldn't see my missing tooth. Chambers seemed to know about it though, for his eyes hovered over my jaw and narrowed slightly. I wondered how he found out. Ace wouldn't brag about beating me; that wasn't his style. It was possible that Eyeball had told him, but somehow I didn't think so. Any shit Ace might've got as a result would come back to him at least ten times harder.

But however he'd heard it, Chambers knew everything. It was downright obvious.

"No," I said to him. "I'm not ditching Ace."

"Sure," said Chambers, and put his hands into his pockets. "Though if I were you, I'd rather eat a hobo's dick than hang around. He's gonna kill you someday, you know that?"

I gasped. I couldn't help it. The breath was out before I could stop myself. I wanted to slap him, but I couldn't. He was _right_. Ace would kill me, or at least put me into hospital.

I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

"Don't ever say that again," I hissed.

"You're crazy," said Chambers, and stepped out of my way. "Only a loony would put up with the kind of shit you do."

I winced, yet stayed calm. Sort of.

"You know _nothing_ about me."

Chambers shrugged.

"Maybe not. But I still think you're loco."

I was about to say something insulting when there was a musical jingle as somebody entered the store. To my dismay, it was Ace and Eyeball. They came swaggering through the door like they owned the place, so sure of themselves it was sickening. From the smirk on Ace's lips, I knew that he had won the game of pool. This always made him arrogant, and therefore unpleasant.

"Hey! If it isn't my little faggot of a brother," said Eyeball, grabbing Chambers by the collar and cuffing him across the back of the head. "Fancy seeing _you_ out here."

"Lay off him," I said sharply.

"Jeez, you fucking killjoy," said Eyeball, rolling his eyes. He reluctantly obeyed, lighting up a cigarette despite the nearby presence of the store manager.

"Thought you were buying a drink," Ace said to me. He sounded suspicious.

"I _was_!" I protested. "I just haven't had the chance to pay yet, that's all."

Ace seemed to accept this, and put an arm around my waist. He kissed me, nipping the edge of my tongue in play. I pulled away with a yelp of pain. There was the familiar flavour of blood in my mouth. Ace didn't know how to be gentle.

"Ouch! Don't _do_ that!"

"Come on, baby," said Ace. "Don't be such a fucking prude."

He kissed me again, real forcefully this time. One hand squeezed my breast through my shirt, fumbling for the neat row of buttons. It was humiliating, for everyone was watching and, I imagine, pitying me.

Ace's hands roamed lower and lower, unconcerned that we were in public. He was enjoying this. The coarseness of his stubble brushed my cheek, chafing me, and I could smell the liquor on his breath. He was drunk, and God only knew what he would do. He'd fuck me in the middle of the store, if he wanted to, and that was something I could not bear.

A scream rose in the back of my throat as his fingers found the edge of my panties.

"Leave her alone, you ass wipe," said Chambers suddenly, and I found myself being pulled backwards by the tails of my shirt. I stumbled against a shelf, sending a couple of cans crashing to the floor. They split, spilling their contents over the polished tiles.

"Hey!" yelled the storeowner. He glared, but didn't get up. "What the hell are you kids doing back there?"

"Shut your trap, old man," snarled Ace, and I saw that his eyes were cold and clouded with rage. He grabbed Chambers by the collar and rammed him up against the refrigerator. "Now, Chambers, let's talk about this like decent folks. I don't wanna have to break anything, but if you try to fuck with me again I will. Got that?"

"Go to hell," said Chambers. He squirmed in Ace's grip. "I know what you did to her."

"Is that right?" Ace glanced at me. "Well, so what? You gonna squeal on me?"

"He wouldn't," said Eyeball. "He's the biggest pussy in Castle Rock."

He pinched Chamber's cheek as if he was a baby.

"Why don't you run home to Daddy, Christopher, and let the big boys have some fun?"

"Oh, for God's sake," I snapped. "This is pathetic."

Ace's back stiffened. Nervously, I took a step away from him. He was somewhat unpredictable when he was wound up about something, and I wouldn't put it past him to take a swing at me for speaking to him like that.

"Keep out of this, Shane," said Chambers quickly, clearly thinking along the same lines as me. Ace grappled his throat, half-strangling him.

"Where's your manners, Chambers? I'd appreciate it if you talk to her a little more politely. Wouldn't want her getting offended, now would we?"

Chambers didn't answer. His face was red and he was gasping for air.

"Fuck!" I blurted out. Ace ignored me. He continued to stare at Chambers intensely, squeezing his neck until I was sure it would snap.

"I hope you're not thinking of telling anybody about this, Chambers," he said in that oddly pleasant tone of voice of his. Chambers grunted, sucking in a tight lungful of air.

"What if I do?" he managed to ask. "You gonna do me like you did her?"

The second those words left his mouth I knew he regretted them. Ace had snapped, although he looked calm enough from the outside. He yanked Chambers away from the refrigerator and dragged him towards the exit.

"Sounds like an idea," he said, tossing a thumb at Eyeball. Eyeball obediently followed him. I was disgusted. I couldn't understand how anybody could let their own sibling get bullied like this. Dropping the coke to the floor, I darted out into the street to find myself surrounded by Ace's boys. The regulars- Charlie Hogan and Billy Tessio- were holding Chambers by the arms, stopping him from getting away. Ace was standing over him, switchblade in hand. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Ace, stop this right now," I yelled, elbowing somebody out of the way. "You're going way too far."

Ace didn't even bother answering me. He flicked out a hand, knocking me down onto my ass. Grit dug into my bare calves and palms, making them bleed. I scrambled up almost instantly, but I was too late. Ace drove a fist into Chamber's belly so hard that blood flecked his lips. As I watched in horror, he and a few of the other guys took turns in beating him, gaining obvious pleasure from the sport. And although Chambers didn't make a sound, I could practically _taste_ his agony.

It was then that I made up my mind to do something I never thought I'd do in a million years.

"I'm telling," I said.

And then I ran.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm sorry for the wait! Here's the latest chapter. Please Read and Review xx**

I know I should tell you what happened when I threatened to tell on Ace. You're probably itching to know how bad a kicking I got, or if I managed to get away with it somehow. That's what you want me to tell you, isn't it?

Books go straight from chapter to chapter, all neat and chronological and laid out pretty as you please. I get it. But _my_ story isn't like that. When people tell things out loud, they pause and get off track to explain all the complicated stuff. That's how you really spin a yarn. So before I fill you in on what happened next, I'm gonna go back a few years. I'm gonna tell you I ended up with Ace.

I was sixteen, two months off my seventeenth birthday. Life was good. I spent a lot of my time outside- most of the Castle Rock kids did. My friends and I used to do all kinds of stuff from tree climbing to sunbathing. We all had different tastes. A lot of my buddies were girly-girls, whereas I was a skinny little brat. No chest, freckled cheeks and a nose like a pug dog's- I wasn't exactly Miss America. My hair- which was cut short all over -probably didn't help. This didn't bother me. I hated being feminine. Mom despaired over me. She wanted me to dress up in pretty party dresses and braid my hair. Some hope. I practically lived in frayed denim cut-offs and white –t-shirts. No wonder she gave up on me so fast. Sometimes I wished I could be drop-dead gorgeous, but most of the time I didn't care. The little things weren't important to a sprog like me.

The one bad thing about me was my habit of getting into trouble. I wasn't a bad girl exactly but one way or another I always got myself into some kind of mess. This was how I ended up tangling with Ace Merrill. Back then, I knew very little about him. He was just the hard-ass, the guy you didn't cross. We'd seen him going round with his posse, but I doubted he ever noticed us. We were like insects to him. But like a lot of bullies he found it fun to squash us now and again. Yet I'd always managed to keep out of his radar until that one fateful Friday in the middle of June. It was a day I'd regret for the rest of my life.

It was late afternoon. Me and two friends, Liz and Candy, were sitting on a curb in town talking and swapping secrets. Liz was eating a chocolate bar that she refused to share. Her lips left sticky red lipstick stains on the wrapper.

"If you had to choose _one_ guy to marry on earth," she said, between bites. "Who would you go for?"

"Elvis Presley," said Candy dreamily. She was a plain girl with owlish glasses that hid a lazy eye. She was sweet and naive, and I liked her an awful lot. "He's _so_ handsome. I'd give anything to meet him. My Mom says he dances dirty and that he's bad, but I really like him. Something about him just gets me so excited."

"He turns you on," said Liz knowledgably. Candy looked nonplussed, so she continued. "That's what they call it when you get horny for a guy, you know."

I snorted childishly. Candy's mouth was a gaping 'O' of embarrassment.

"I'm not horny for him. Gee, that's gross. I just _like_ him, that's all. The only person I'm gonna get horny for is any husband I might pick up along the line."

I rolled my eyes. This was something we'd heard at least a thousand times before.

"Anyway," said Candy. "We all know who you get horny for, Elizabeth O'Hearney."

"Oh really? Who?"

Candy reached over, snaffling a piece of chocolate right from under her nose. She broke it in half and passed it to me before stuffing it into the side of her cheek and answering with her mouth full.

"Denny La Chance," she said, and all three of us broke down into squealing laughter. "Every time you see him you blush like a beetroot. You've never even talked to the guy, but you still go all mushy around him. And how many of his games have you turned up at now? Seven? If you're not horny for him, then I don't know what you are."

I rolled my eyes at her innocence. Folding my arms behind my head, I sprawled out along the sidewalk and prodded Candy's knee.

"Do you even know what horny means?" I asked her.

"Sure," she said. "You have a big, big crush. And you wanna kiss 'em."

Liz and I exchanged glances. She winked at me. Candy, sat cross-legged between us, got even more confused than before.

"You're wrong, silly," I said to her gently. "It means you want to screw them."

Her cheeks flushed.

"_What_?"

Liz cracked up.

"You want Elvis's dick, you dirty little monster!"

"Do _not_!"

I began rolling on the ground in mock-ecstasy.

"Oh, Elvis! _Elvis_! Oh, make love to me, Elvis!"

"Right, that's it," said Candy, and leapt on me in a squirming heap. The three of us were laughing so hard that we didn't notice who was coming up behind us before it was too late. I caught sight of them out of the corner of my eye, smoking and strutting so confidently that you would have thought they were kings. I knew them as Ace and Eyeball. Tough, handsome, dangerous. You kept away, if you were smart and we _were_, for the most part.

Unfortunately, this time they came to us.

Ace swaggered over, smirking cockily, and kicked over our bottle of cola. It spilled its contents over the back of Candy's skirt, staining the pink plaid with sticky brown. She gave a cry of horror, wringing the material with both hands.

"Idiot!" she cried, without thinking. "Watch what you're doing, will you?"

Ace didn't take kindly to the insult. He cuffed the back of her head, knocking her glasses clean out into the road. As Candy reached forward to retrieve them, Ace trod on her fingers and moved the sole of his shoe over her glasses. I saw what he was about to do and tried to stop him. Ignoring my fear of the boys, I scrambled up onto my feet. I was so short that the top of my head only just reached their chests.

"Leave us alone," I said. "We ain't done nothing to you."

Ace looked at me like I was a nasty insect.

"You're in the way, short-stuff," he said to me. "Move."

He pushed my hard, clearly expecting me to go down and let him pass. I was stronger than that. I resisted, standing my ground.

"Not until you've apologised to Candy," I said. "_And_ given her glasses back."

Ace seemed amused. He plucked the glasses off the road and waved them in the air.

"These ones?" he asked pleasantly. When I nodded, he grinned and tossed them to Eyeball. "I'm sure your friend would be grateful if we helped her out a little and disposed of them. After all, who wants to be a four-eyed freak?"

Candy flinched. I tried to snatch the glasses out of Eyeball's hand, but he whipped them out of reach before throwing them down into the gutter. Satisfied, Ace clapped his friend on the shoulder and the pair of them made as if to leave again. Anger flared inside me. Liz and Candy stared at me, wide-eyed, silently begging me to keep quiet. But I wouldn't. Tough guys or not, there was no way I could allow them to treat Candy like this.

"Hey!" I yelled. Ace turned, grinning a little. I scowled at him fiercely. "You think you're so tough, bullying people younger than you. Ha! You're just a pair of fucking losers."

Ace stopped grinning at once. He came towards me, catching hold of my bony shoulder so hard that it hurt. Eyeball stood faithfully behind him. He looked me up and down. By his expression I knew he was disappointed.

"Now, that's not very nice," Ace said to me patronisingly. "You'd think a nice girl like you wouldn't want any trouble."

"You sure it's a girl?" asked Eyeball, sniggering. "She ain't got no tits."

I flushed, deeply embarrassed. Ace glanced down at my flat chest, his cold eyes hungry. I put an arm across me to block his gaze.

"My name is Shane Starling," I said. My voice shook slightly. "And I _am_ a girl. Just because I don't have melons up my shirt doesn't mean I have a dick."

"She's right," said Eyeball, flicking ash. I noticed Liz wincing as it landed on her thigh. "It's what's between your legs that matters."

Ace quirked an eyebrow.

"What are you getting at, Eyeball?"

"Well, if she's got a cooch then…"

He gestured vaguely, mouth quirking up at the side. Ace seemed to catch his drift. The hand on my shoulder travelled slowly down to my hip, toying with the edge of my shorts where the lace-trim of my panties showed.

"Stop," I said quickly. I'd never been touched intimately by a boy before. The idea of it was kind of scary. "Get the fuck away from me."

Ace laughed in my face. He trailed his fingers down to my crotch, feeling the cleft there, and squeezed lightly. I squeaked in pain. A shameful, dirty thrill ran through me, making me feel like a whore. My teeth clenched down on my lower lip.

"And there it is," said Ace. "You know what, I think it'd be nice if I got to fuck it to make up for bothering us. Whadda ya think, Tit-less?"

I rocked back on my heels, stunned by the filthy insults. Then I reached up and slapped Ace so hard that the cigarette flew out of his mouth. Candy gasped from behind me, and I knew I'd made a hideous mistake. Blood trickled from the corner of Ace's mouth. He wasn't laughing any more. Without speaking, he slammed me against the nearest wall and fumbled with his belt. I struggled, but he was too strong for me.

"What are you _doing_? Let go of me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I swear, just lemme go!"

Ace blanked me. Wiping the mess from his lips, he pulled something from his pocket and forced it to my jaw. There was a smooth click and a sharp prick, and in one horrible moment I realised he had a knife in his hand. My whole body went cold.

"Alright," said Ace, still bleeding. "You have two choices. Either I cut your throat, or you can suck my dick and both you and your ugly little friends can go home. You've got a dirty mouth, Starling. Why don't you use it for something other than insulting people?"

I heard Liz begin to cry softly, and I felt sick just listening to her. But the idea of putting my lips around Ace's tool was even worse. My stomach started churning. I'd never been in such a sticky situation before. I'd been in some scrapes in my time- I broke a leg, got shot at by a farmer and was slapped by Milo Pressman in the same year- but I'd always managed to get away before. Now, there was absolutely nothing I could do. Candy, who had put her arms around Liz's shoulders, refused to look at me. My throat tightened.

"So if I do it, you're gonna let them go?" I asked. My voice came out in a strangled squeak.

"Sure," said Ace, shrugging as if it was no big deal. He nodded at his friend, who was watching the girls closely. "Eyeball'll take care of them till we're finished. Wouldn't want anybody running home to their Mommy, would we?"

I was forced to shake my head.

"Good. Now get on your knees."

Shaking like a racehorse, I did as he asked. I was level with his crotch, though fortunately I could see nothing but myself reflected in the buckle of his belt. My mouth was pinched, eyes wild with desperation. A sheen of sweat glistened on my brow. I didn't wipe it away.

Ace slipped a hand through my hair, twisting it away from the nape of my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to pull away from him.

"Knock it off, bitch," said Ace. His breath was fast and shallow. "You ever done this before?"

"No," I whispered. "Never."

He laughed venomously.

"That's cute. Now shut the fuck up and open wide."

And I did it.

My mind was a fog of disgust. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I tried to distance myself away, but I couldn't ignore Ace's harsh grunts or the burning pain in my scalp. I sweated under the sun, and my jaws ached from stretching. It was difficult to bear all of this and still keep calm. Somehow I managed. But by the time it was all over I was so badly hysterical that all I could do was crawl away, spitting violently onto the round to rid the vile taste from my mouth.

Ace stood over me, zipping up his pants with a satisfied expression on his face. Eyeball joined him, whistling casually. Only a brief flicker in his eyes showed his disgust.

"I think we're done with our little friend here," said Ace. He crouched briefly, cupping my chin in his hand. "Well done, Shane. You were pretty good for a first-timer."

I burst into tears, something I hadn't done for years. Ace gave me a hard shove and got to his feet, bored with me. With Eyeball at his side he walked away, aiming a vicious kick at Candy's stomach as he passed by. Once he was gone, I doubled over and vomited until all I could bring up was air. Liz, wiping her eyes, came over to comfort me. I wouldn't let her touch me. I felt gross, nasty, like something you'd scrape of your shoe. There was no way I could let her come near me anymore. So I found myself running, running with both hands clenched on my gut, trying to block out the cries of my friends as they called after me.

I never spoke to Liz and Candy again.

As time wore on, I grew tougher, harsher, learning how to look after myself. My breasts budded, and I lost all of that nostalgic childhood innocence that makes life so sweet. Ace took an interest in me. For a while, he and Eyeball had avoided me- maybe they were ashamed, I don't know- but now I caught them staring every time I came near. Eventually Ace approached me and asked me out. Of course I wanted to say no. But I didn't dare. I knew he'd kill me if I refused him. So we got together, and I lost my virginity to him in the back of his car with tears running from the corners of my eyes. I don't think he saw them. It was too dark, and he was so wrapped up in his own pleasure to even look at my face.

And even if he _had _seen them, he wouldn't have given a shit.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for the comments, dear readers! Now, here's the latest chapter of Dead Meat. Please Read and Review x**

I'm sure you know by now how much of a dangerous jerk Ace Merrill really was. That's putting it lightly. I ain't seen him since we were kids, but they say he grew up a bad man, dealing cocaine and fucking people up same as he always did. 'Cause it wasn't only me he messed up over the years, no sir. He took on anybody who didn't kiss his ass 24/7. He once kicked the snot out of some hippie kid for getting off with his girl, and broke another dude's arm for smashing the wing mirror on his car. Once I even watched him carve the word 'faggot' into this kid's stomach with his switchblade. No doubt about it, Ace was a sick and twisted bully a short step from insane.

But he wasn't a huge fan of authority. This was how I knew he'd leave Chris Chambers alone if I threatened to spill on him.

So there I was, running like a bitch from hell with the whole gang on my tail, fully aware this cold-blooded bastard was mere inches from tearing me apart.

But you know what?

I didn't care.

Chunks of gravel smacked against my thighs and sweat slicked my shirt to my belly, but somehow I enjoyed the thrill of the chase. I could practically smell Ace's anger, and by God it excited me. I tossed a look over my shoulder, noting his grim look with some satisfaction. He'd forgotten all about Chambers by now. As far as he was concerned, I was all that mattered. This felt good.

"Come on, shit-heap!" I screamed at him. "Come get me! The police are gonna haul you in this time. You ain't gonna get away with it!"

"I wouldn't bet on it, Shane," said Ace. In some way, I think he was getting just as hyped off this as I was. There was a glint in his eyes that I only ever saw when he was in a good mood. "We both know who the best gambler is here."

"Oh really?" I shot back. We were slowing down now, circling each other. "Guessing it must be me, then. I didn't lose ten dollars this morning to a third-grade brat."

The Cobras all flinched, giving Ace anxious sideways glances. He was very still. He swallowed, nodded slowly. His fingers flexed on the handle of his switchblade. Then without warning he darted forward, grabbing a handful of my cropped hair, and slashed me across the cheek. I squealed in pain, twisting so fiercely my scalp almost tore in his grip.

"Your tongue's too sharp for you," said Ace. He thrust two bloodied fingers into my face. "Look. I think you cut yourself."

He let go of me, allowing me to dash off again through the baking streets. I was a lot less self-confident now. Ace had allowed me to slip away, even knowing what I could do. He was playing with me. I should never have expected anything else from him. Ace loved to play cat and mouse with his victims. It made the pounce that much more satisfying.

Holding my wounded face, I rounded nearest corner and instantly stopped dead. Quiet now, I shuffled forwards and turned to face Ace and the Cobras as they came towards me, not noticing the presence behind me until it was too late to turn back.

"Don't mess her up too bad, Ace. I know she's a bitch, but she's just a girl," I heard Eyeball say before they caught sight of me. When they did, I saw their faces blanch and their heels itch to run. Only Ace remained composed.

"Mrs. Starling," he said, polite as you please. "Well, ain't this a pleasure."

"Hello, John," my mother replied. She was leaning against the hood of her car, bloodshot eyes hidden behind a pair of dark glasses. From the look of her I guessed she had just dragged herself out of bed. "Nice to see you too."

This was a lie. Mom and Ace hated each other. Everybody knew it. They only kept up the pretence of being on civil terms because I was Ace's girl. If that wasn't so, then no doubt they'd be sworn enemies. Either that or Ace would simply pretend she didn't exist, and vise versa.

"Mind telling me why you're chasing my daughter?" Mom asked, in a deceptively pleasant tone of voice. This was the one habit she and Ace had in common. "Hope you have a good reason, young man."

"Mom, drop it," I said sharply, as Ace's jaw clenched. "It ain't got nothin' to do with you."

Mom turned to look at me. Her dry lips pursed in disapproval.

"Don't talk to me like that, Shane. I'm just trying to take care of you, for God's sake. And what's that all over your face? Are you hurt?"

I peeled my hand away from the cut in my cheek. The entire palm was slick with blood, and there was more coming. Mom gasped. She rushed over to clamp a tissue to the wound, ignoring the sniggers of Ace and his gang. Her old house-slippers were still on her feet, and she wasn't even wearing a bra. I cringed in silent embarrassment.

"Oh Shane, how did you do this?" Mom cried in dismay. She dabbed at the cut gingerly, making it sting. "Were you fooling round near broken glass again?"

I scowled, irritated by her words. Mom always assumed that I was a clumsy little troublemaker, always hurting myself in some way or another. It was how she explained all the damage Ace inflicted, I guess. Every time I rolled in sporting a fresh scrape or bruise she would shake her head and put it down to me being a roughhousing tomboy. I would end up being the death of her, if not myself. Then she'd lie down on the sofa with one of her headaches as usual, and I'd be left feeling helpless and annoyed.

I glared at her now, hoping she'd notice for once.

"No, Mom. I'm not stupid. It was…" I began. Then I caught Ace's eye, saw the glint of silver in his hand, and backtracked hurriedly. "I mean, kind of, yeah. Sorry. I… I cut it climbing through a window. Dumb, huh?"

"I'll say," Mom snapped. "I'm gonna have to clean this up for you. You know how badly this kind of thing can get infected? Get in the car, right now. You're lucky I came out here today. Lord knows what you would do without me, you stupid little girl."

She tugged my elbow, dragging me towards the car as if I was about six years old. One of the guys wolf-whistled. I don't know whether it was aimed at my mother or me. It mortified me all the same. Without saying a word, I got in and fastened my seatbelt. Mom slid in beside me, rubbing her temples and sighing heavily. She reached under the seat and retrieved a half-empty bottle of pills. Refusing to make eye contact with me, she unscrewed the top and took two of them whole. She swallowed with her usual dry, needy sounds, and laid a hand on my knee. I looked at it as if it was a venomous snake.

"Promise me you won't go fooling round near broken windows again," she begged me. I stared at her, disbelieving, and noted the flicker in her expression. She knew I'd told her a lie. She knew.

I realised then that I couldn't tell her anything about Ace. She'd pretend not to believe me, or simply do squat about it. To her, being beat up by your boyfriend was a shameful thing and shouldn't be talked about. And crime? Well, that just wasn't any of her business.

Knowing this filled me with bitter disappointment. It 's funny how much trust we put into our parents. When they let you down, it's the saddest thing in the world. Or, at least, it should be, but in all honesty I felt nothing towards my mother. Not rage, not sadness. I couldn't bring myself to hate her. I still loved her, after all.

But I couldn't rely on her, and for me that was painful.

It was early next morning when Ace decided to call in on me. I was sitting on the wall in my backyard, waiting for Annie-Lee to turn up. We had decided over the phone to spend the day in town. I hadn't seen her since the time we tried to run away together, so I was pretty eager to hang out with her again. I just hoped she wouldn't ask about the mess on my face though. She'd get nervous- maybe even want to leave -if she found out how it happened. I should never have worried. She never even turned up at my house. Rumour has it Ace fucked her in her own kitchen, right up against the sink, the faucet digging into her spine, and threatened to cut her tongue out if she came to see me. I can well imagine him doing that to her. I'd heard him telling Eyeball before how he'd like to screw her silly, but I'll never know for sure if he went through with it or not. It's too late to ask Annie-Lee. She's gone now. By that I mean she's six-feet-under. I didn't get invited to the funeral.

Oh, but I'm getting off track now. What's the phrase people use for that?

Oh yeah. 'I digress'. Kinda nifty, ain't it?

Anyway, I was about to go back to the house when someone grabbed my ankle, pulling me off the wall and down onto the sidewalk below. Somehow I managed to keep my balance, despite the shock.

"Hey, Shane," said Ace, hooking an arm around my waist. He squeezed it tight, his grip rough and hungry. "Did you tell your Mommy what the bad boys did to that jackass Chambers?"

I didn't answer him. He frowned and grabbed my bare shoulder.

"Well, did you?"

"No," I replied through gritted teeth. His touch physically sickened me. "I didn't. Happy now?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I'm not," said Ace. I blinked in surprise. "The cops turned up at my place last night, asking about what happened at the store. Mind telling me how they found out?"

"_Jesus_. They did? But... wow."

I was genuinely shocked.

"You mean they…?"

I peered round subtly. Ace was completely alone. There were no Cobras lingering to pump up his ego. For once it was only him.

He meant business.

He must've had a damned close call with the police, for there was a desperate edge to his voice that I didn't like or trust. It was the closest I'd ever seen him to being afraid. This wasn't good news. Fear always made people dangerous. When I was eight years old, I'd watched a drunk guy pull a gun on my mother's then-boyfriend, Frank. He'd stared down the barrel, transfixed with shock, before snapping out an arm lined with solid muscle and knocking the drunk out cold. For a while, I thought that was the neatest thing ever. But then I learned from Ace that fear also makes you weak, and my opinions changed a little.

I thought of all those times I'd been frightened, and doing so snapped something inside me. A big, wicked smirk spread across my face. I snatched hold of Ace and kissed all the way up the length of his jaw line. He jumped sharply, astonished by my actions. He recoiled from me but I wound my arms around his neck, pulling him close. I whispered into his ear. His skin was warm.

"Bet you nearly pissed your pants when they knocked on the door, didn't ya? Didn't wanna end up in the slammer like your old man. Only they didn't stay long, 'cause it was just the Chambers kid you messed with. They don't give a shit about that family. Bet you were glad it wasn't me you beat up, else they'd have fucked you up bad. Oh, you were so close to jail you could almost smell the convict's sweat. Right, baby?"

Ace flinched.

"Shut the fuck up."

He was shivering with rage.

"Why should I?" I challenged him. "It's true! And you thought _I'd _ratted you out. Well, I wish I did, but I didn't. I spent all night in the house listening to my mother bitch at me about how stupid and clumsy I am, and how some day I'm gonna end up killing myself. But I think she hates you enough to guess what you did, and you know what? You can smack me all you want for saying this, Ace Merrill, but she's right about you."

I kissed him square on the mouth. His teeth were clenched tight behind his lips. He wouldn't kiss me back. For once I was violating him, and not the other way around.

"You're a major fucking _dick_," I continued. "And you disgust me. But come on. Why don't you fuck me? Then we can _both _have fun for once, and you can forget how close you were to prison."

Months of pent up loathing and frustration fired me I tugged at his belt. Ace looked like he was gonna be sick. He grabbed me by the collar and shoved me forcefully to the ground, making sure I couldn't lay even a finger on him. Then, after gazing at me in a mixture of disgust and incredulity, he spat in my face. I felt his saliva drip into my eye. I didn't wipe it away.

"You foul-mouthed whore," Ace said unsteadily. "Who the hell do you think you're talking to, huh? You little psycho bitch. If you wanna live I'd advise you to shut the fuck up around me from now on. Got it?"

I wanted to come back with some snappy reply, something brave and daring and inventive but I knew if I did he'd thrash me so bad I wouldn't be able to walk. So I just lay there, drool still in my eye, and counted the seconds in my head.

Next time I looked up, Ace was gone. I picked myself up carefully, taking the time to dust off my knees. I was in pretty good condition, considering the situation. After the things I said, I should have been landed in hospital. But all I had was a bruised cooch and a dirty feeling that crept up and down my spine. Somehow I'd intimidated Ace, and that had saved me.

However, I'd crossed a line with him now. I was gonna have to tread carefully if I wanted to stay alive.

Yet, even with the weight of this on my mind, I made another attempt to leave him.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I apologize for the ridiculous wait for this chapter. I've just finished a stage performance, a Science GCSE and a Spanish mock exam. Here is the latest chapter of Dead Meat. Please Read and Review xx**

* * *

I looked for any excuse to get away from Ace.

This wasn't difficult, considering his reputation. He was an asshole and he didn't care who knew it. If anything, he rubbed it in extra deep just so you'd remember his name. There was very little he tried to hide from me, finding it much more entertaining to bully me with anything that might hurt if he shoved it into my face. But there was one thing he kept secret. Just one. As it happens, that thing got my blood boiling like nothing else ever had.

His cheating.

You're probably not surprised to hear he did something like that. After all, there's no way a guy like Ace would be happy with a sharp-tongued, shapeless tomboy like me. But I'd been stupid. It never crossed his mind that he may stray to other girls. This was naïve of me. Turns out he was getting into every dime-store slut this side of Castle Rock. I was blind not to see it. Sure, I'd seen him flirting with other girls- he liked me getting jealous. But I never thought anything had come of it.

However, I'd been suspicious something was going on for a long time. There were plenty of rumours flying round, along with explosions of laughter when I walked by and catcalls I didn't understand. I tried asking Ace about on it, genuinely confused about the whole thing. As you can imagine, he kept his lips zipped tighter than a virgin's blouse. But I smelled a rat, and the more shit stirred up the madder I got.

The final straw came not long after the Chris Chambers incident. Ace was acting off with me, avoiding me as best he could. Searching for an explanation, I remembered how I'd scared him and thought that covered everything. This made me cockier than I had right to be. I actually thought I had some kind of power over him. Boy, was _I_ stupid. Ace had me blinkered so tight I couldn't see anything past my own swollen head. But then, finally, I caught him out.

He was humping some dumb slut called Norma Keller. She was the kind of girl who had more tits than brains and spent her nights banging all the neighbourhood boys. She staggered around in town in skin-tight leather, primping and posing like a dirty model. The Cobras thought she was swell. They'd sit drinking in their cars all day, discussing her impressive rack till I went half-crazy from listening to them. However, the stuff I picked up paid off in the end.

I was sitting on my front porch with a cold lemonade when Eyeball and a guy named Kenny Briscoe walked by, completely unaware of my presence. Eyeball made a circular motion in front of his chest and thrusted his hips vulgarly into thin air, causing them both to explode into bouts of crude laughter. Once the last chuckle died down, they sat on the hood of my mother's car and began to talk in low voices.

"So yeah, he's been banging her for three weeks now. I bet she's like a real whore, tight cooch and everything."

"I hear she's got even _bigger_ tits up close," said Kenny.

"Jesus! That must feel good after dating the boobless-wonder for so long. She's so flat you could iron a shirt on her chest."

"I dunno," said Kenny, tilting his head onto one side. "I think she's grown a little lately."

"Yeah, by a millimetre," quipped Eyeball, and they both snorted obscenely. Eyeball, still sniggering, pulled something from his pocket and handed it to Kenny. I twisted my head at an awkward angle to see what it was. To my disgust I saw that it was a photograph of a naked Norma Keller. The picture was creased and grubby from constant handling, and from the way the boys were drooling over it I could easily imagine what it was used for.

"Goddam," muttered Kenny. "I'm getting me some of that."

"Are you whacko?" said Eyeball. "He'll kill you. He won't share his girls with nobody, even if he ain't datin' 'em for real. So unless you wanna end up with your balls in your mouth you better wait till Ace is done with her."

Only then did I realise who they were talking about, and why Ace was avoiding me. The glass of lemonade slipped out of my hands and smashed all over the porch with a loud crash. Kenny and Eyeball leapt to their feet so quick you'd have thought they'd been electrocuted. We all stared at each other speechlessly. I stood up slowly. My legs were shaking. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. My cheeks were burning with rage and embarrassment, and for a while I couldn't think what to say. Eventually I found my tongue and managed to speak.

"Get outta here," I croaked. Kenny and Eyeball didn't move an inch. They just stood there, gawping dumbly at me. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Hey, are you boneheads even _listening_ to me? Fuck _off_! Skedaddle! Scram! Jesus Christ, do I have to call my _Mom_ out here or something? Get away from my damn house!"

The boys left, scurrying away like beetles under a rock. I sat back down again, putting my face in my hands. The urge to cry hovered briefly over me. I wasn't sure how to feel. It wasn't Ace's cheating that really bothered me- shit, I hardly even cared about that. I didn't want him anyway. It was the fact that everybody knew about it but me that really pissed me off. I'd been played for a fool and that was something I could not abide. So I sat there on that porch, the spilled lemonade pooling round my feet, and wondered what to do. I knew that dumping him was the only way forward. But first I wanted to humiliate him, to make him feel the same shame and anger I was feeling now.

It didn't take long to work out how to do it. The premise was pretty simple. It was having the guts to pull it off that would be the problem. But nervous as I was, I made myself get off my ass and do it. After all, if I didn't end it then I never would.

The first thing I did was track down the Cobras. They were hanging around outside the junkyard, red-faced and burned from the sun. Most of them had their shirts off on account of the heat. Billy Tessio was fanning himself half-heartedly with one hand, and Charlie was picking blades of grass from his sticky shoulders. Ace, thankfully, nowhere in sight. Satisfied, I took off my own shirt and tied it round my waist. All had on underneath was a bra, but at this point I no longer cared. There wasn't much to see anyway. Even so, the expressions on the Cobra's faces as I approached them were nothing short of gob smacked.

"Hello boys," I said, trying to sound breezy and confident. For the most part I managed fine. "How's it going?"

"'S going good," said Eyeball instantly. His eyes slid down my body before turning away, guilty and a little afraid. I found myself feeling surprised. Eyeball had never seemed interested in me before. But then again, he'd never seen me without a shirt before either. I almost enjoyed his attention. "What are you doing out here, Shane? We figured you were…"

There was an awkward pause. From the look on his face I guessed he was thinking about the way I'd yelled at him from the porch. This pleased me. Anything that made him uncomfortable was fine and dandy in my book. Keeping my cool, I brushed a stray hair from my belly and flopped down on the grass. I noticed the Cobras moving away from me. They seemed uneasy with me being so close to them. I decided to use this to my advantage and jump straight to the point.

"Where's Ace?" I asked casually, folding my arms under my head. "I wanna speak to him."

Nobody answered me. Eyeball and Kenny exchanged shifty glances, cringing slightly, and my stomach squeezed inside me.

"Okay," I said. "I see how it is. Well, listen up you bunch of apes. Ace is history. Him and me, we're done. Finished. The end. Now… does anyone know where I can find Norma Keller?"

There was another long silence. Everyone looked shocked out of their minds. Then Billy snapped out of it and blurted out, "Check around my block. She's my neighbour, she oughtta be around somewhere." I grinned at him and got up again. Eyeball's jaw had dropped so far by now that the cigarette fell from his mouth and lay smoking in the grass. He turned to watch me as I walked away, upper lip curling into a sneer of disbelief.

"Ace is gonna kill her for this," he muttered, thinking I was out of earshot. "Nothin's gonna change. She's off her fucking head for even trying."

You know something? I agreed with him. And still I kept on going. His certainty that I was gonna fail just made me want to finish this even more. I had no car, no Annie-Lee to keep me company. I was on my own now, but I was determined to break it off with Ace. No matter what.

I found Norma in her front yard, reading a magazine from behind a pair of enormous sunglasses. She was holding a glass of something red and bubbly in her left hand. Every now and then she would take a sip from it, careful not to smear her lipstick. She looked blissful, relaxed, but the second I set foot on her property her head snapped up and her face darkened at once. A muscle twitched in her cheek,

"Hello, Norma," I said. "Can you tell me where Ace is right now?"

Norma gave me a long, sly look. Then she flared her nostrils like an agitated horse before returning to her magazine.

"How should _I_ know?" she replied eventually. "I'm not the one dating him, am I?"

My anger surfaced. I rushed forward and sent her glass flying with a flick of my foot. It splashed over her shirt, dripping into her impressive cleavage so that rivulets of it ran between her breasts. Norma shrieked in horror. She flapped her hands uselessly at the mess, serving only to make it a little worse than before. I wanted to laugh, but I held back. I had to be grim, serious, intimidating. Giggling would throw that off spectacularly. So I bit my lip and held it in.

"Listen, Norma," I said sternly. "I know you've been banging Ace, so don't lie to me. I don't like you, but I ain't gonna slap you or nothin' like that. I'm not interested in you. And I don't think Ace is, neither. He'll dump you in a few weeks for someone prettier with bigger boobs. That's the way he's always been, and always will be. You're nothin' special, believe me."

"Bitch," snarled Norma. She clenched her fists. My insults must have really bitten deep into her inflated ego. "Who the hell do you think you are? You think you're so big, but you're just a-"

"Shut up!"

I held up a hand, refusing to argue any more. Norma's mouth shut with a snap.

"Like I said, I'm not interested in you. But you can pass on a message for me, since you're so close to Ace these days."

Norma didn't reply at first. She simply dabbed at her breasts delicately and scowled. Then she said, "Whadda ya want me to say to him?"

"Tell him he's dumped," I said. "I'm sick of being his personal punch bag. You can fuck him all you like now, I don't care."

Norma's eyes had grown big and shiny behind her glasses. She sat up poker straight, spilled drink forgotten, and looked at me in fascinated hatred.

"You ain't gonna say none of this to his _face_?"

I snorted.

"Course I ain't. Now, you make sure he hears about this. I don't want him thinking he still owns me."

"Oh, I'll tell him alright," said Norma, and got to her feet. She was beaming wildly from ear to ear. "You're an idiot, girl. Either that or crazy. You'd have to be to pull something like this on Ace Merrill."

I took the insults without fighting back. They were probably true anyway. I turned away to head for home, but before I was more than three feet away I felt something hit the back of my head. I turned around to see Norma clutching her empty glass, shivering despite the sweltering heat. A smear of melted mascara drooled down her left cheek.

"I hope he smashes your face in, you ugly whore," she hissed at me, and spat at my feet like a boy. I lunged at her, meaning to throttle her, but she was too fast for me. She ran for her house, lingering at the doorway to throw me a few last insults. "I know how you ended up with Ace. You're a cock-sucking tramp, and that's all you're good for. And once Ace gets hold of you, he'll beat you so bad you won't even be able to do that anymore."

Then she was gone, slamming the door in my face so hard it almost took the tip off my nose. Her words rattled around inside my skull. Up until that moment, I'd forced myself not to think about how Ace would react to the news I'd dumped him. Now the nerves came rushing in, and it was all I could do not to have some kind of breakdown. Norma and Eyeball were right. He _was _going to kill me. But I'd rather have died than live the rest of my days as his human punch bag. Anything was better than that. _Anything._

Even so, I shook like a leaf as I made my day home that day.

* * *

Ace came for me three hours later. The news must have taken a long time to reach him. I could imagine the Cobras shifting from foot to foot, not knowing how to tell the bad news. Ace would be confused with their behaviour and demand to know what was up. They'd stall and stammer and struggle with their words, not quite wanting to drop me in such deep shit. But Norma would. I could see it perfectly. Her swaggering out in a fresh blouse, hips swinging aggressively side-to-side as she joined Ace in the middle of the group. She'd tell him everything straight out, exaggerating everything till it was ten times worse, and his eyes would freeze over like an artic lake. Just thinking about it gave me the shudders. How many times had I seen that coldness before being beaten? And how many times had I spent the next five minutes puking blood into the sink as Ace walked away, smirking like he'd done something smart? One time _way_ too many. So it was no wonder I was so scared.

Although I'd been expecting it all day, I leapt out of my skin when the doorbell rang. I gripped the arms of my chair tight, not budging an inch. I contemplated staying there, refusing to answer, but there was no point to that. My fears had to be faced eventually. Gulping anxiously, I edged into the hallway and stood behind the door. My pulse throbbed in my eardrums so I could hear nothing else. Holding my breath, I raised a hand and gripped the door handle. I twisted it in my slippery fist, fumbling with it, until finally the door swung open.

Ace was standing outside, just as I'd known he'd be. He was gripping the handle of the switchblade so tight the bone showed up white at the knuckle, and there wasn't even a hint of a smile on his face. He wedged a foot against the door and grabbed me by the collar. I squawked but did not resist as Ace growled into my ear.

"You're dead, Shane. Dead fucking meat."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry for the awfully long wait. Here's chapter 7. Please Read and Review, and enjoy x

Ace shoved me backwards through my front door, trapping the edge of my shirt as he slammed it behind us. There was a thick ripping sound as a long strip was torn from the bottom. I cursed, knowing Mom was gonna kill me, but there was no time to think on it. Ace was dragging me into the living room by the scruff of the neck, gripping so hard I was starting to strangle. I dug the chewed stubs of my fingernails deep into the back of his hand, but he didn't drop me till I was blue in the face and literally gasping for breath. Wheezing painfully, I rolled onto my back and cringed as Ace dropped down on his haunches beside me.

"Fuck's your problem?"I managed to squeak, rubbing my bruised throat.

"You," said Ace flatly. "Mind telling me why the whole town's sayin' you dumped me?"

The switchblade was still in his hand. I stared at it, pretty sure where it would end up if I didn't watch my words. Still, I'd made up my mind on what I was gonna do and there was no way I was gonna back out now.

Keeping my voice low and steady, I said, "Yeah, it's true. I can't stand being treated like a back-street slut no more, Ace. I ain't just a body for you to kick around whenever the hell you want. You'll end up killing me someday."

"Oh, I know," said Ace. "Remember what I told you _last_ time you tried running out on me?"

I winced, wishing I didn't. I'd had nightmares about that day ever since, even though I'd had much worse beatings in the past. The violence wasn't so bad- it was the flat, serious way Ace threatened to murder me that scared the shit outta me. I was certain he could do it without even turning a hair. But he wouldn't. Not yet, at least. I hadn't quite pushed him far enough for him to land himself in jail.

Knowing this made me feel cockier than I had a right to be. It took a lot of effort to keep that hidden from Ace.

"I remember," I said carefully. "You said you'd kill me if I ever tried to leave you again. But you won't, will ya? 'Cause if you do, the cops'll be on your ass before you can wash my blood off your hands."

Ace didn't like that one bit. He flinched and yanked me up by the shoulder, pulling us so close together that we were practically nose-to-nose. Ace's familiar scent of cigarettes, cheap wax and cologne hit me like a hammer. He could probably smell _me_, too. If he did, I'll never know. But I'll bet I stank of fear and sweat, and other stuff besides.

"I'm gonna give you one last chance to take all of this back," Ace told me. "We can forget about it and put it behind us. Or…" He tapped the knife against the end of my nose. "…I can fuck you till you can't sit down for a week. How about _that_, Shane?"

I didn't say a word. I was stunned speechless. It was pretty hard to believe what I'd just heard. I tried desperately to keep my cool- after all, I didn't want any more teeth knocking out- but it was just impossible. Care and caution were out of the question. I shoved at Ace's chest, cheeks red hot with out-rage.

"Wake up, Ace," I snapped at him. "We're _done_. I ain't changing my mind for nothin'. Got it?"

Ace didn't reply. At least, not with words. He leapt at me and pinned me to the floor with his full weight. The breath was knocked right out of me. Yet still I fought back, slapping him full in the face again and again, backhanding him until my palms stung. Ace shook off the blows like water. They must have stung like hell, but he didn't seem to feel it. He twisted on arm up behind my back and held it still.

"You're gonna regret this," said Ace. "You're gonna wish you'd had the good sense to keep your fucking trap shut."

I ignored him. With my free hand I cuffed him across the jaw, hitting it so hard it clicked. Ace snarled like a mad dog. He came at came at me with the switchblade, aiming for my eyes and mouth. He wasn't messing around anymore. Neither of us were. Our usual bickering had progressed into something much more serious than plain abuse. It was a full blown fight, the kind you saw between hoods in the street. In Ace's eyes, I wasn't a girl anymore. I was an enemy, which meant he could attack me as violently as he liked. This suited me fine. I'd gotten into scuffles with both boys and girls in the past, and I preferred it if I was allowed to fight dirty.

Ducking the slim slice of silver in his fist, I clamped my teeth down on Ace's fingers and bit down to the bone. He didn't scream, like any normal person would. I'm pretty sure he made a noise, but it was so far from human I can't think of any words to describe it. Bloody froth drooled from the corner of his mouth. I tore away from his hand, mouth full of blood, and spat Ace square in the eye the same way he'd once done it to me. He blinked, but didn't try to wipe it away. Instead he brought the knife down fast and literally stabbed me in the face.

At first I felt nothing; only heard the slick sound of the knife piercing my cheek. Then Ace twisted it out and the side of my face exploded in fiery pain. I howled, clapping my hand tight to the wound. It was bleeding like a motherfucker. The stuff sprayed out of my face, squeezing through my fingers in a fountain of sticky redness. It filled my mouth, choking me, running from my nostrils and from between my lips. Ace looked at coldly the mess. He didn't seem scared or even pleased with what he'd done. I guess he was satisfied though, 'cause he wiped my spit from his eye and put the switchblade back into his pocket again.

"I warned you," he said.

I opened my mouth to cuss at him, but nothing came out but blood. Ace's lips curled into a sick smirk. He reached up and tugged at my shirt, snapping off the buttons as he yanked it from my shoulders. I struggled, lashing out weakly with my free arm. Ace slapped it away and threw my shirt over my head, tangling it around my wrist to stop me batting it off. Blinded, I squirmed around beneath him and wished I'd never opened my front door. I'd been so stupid. Anyone else would have called the police, but me? Nah. I just _had_ to get myself into the worst situation I possibly could.

By now I'd started to go light-headed from blood-loss- something that had never happened before. I started to get badly scared. Reluctantly, I quit fighting and begged Ace to stop as clearly as I could. Either he couldn't hear me or he just wasn't listening, for I could feel him unbuttoning my shorts and dragging them down past my bony hips. I clamped my legs shut, preventing him from going any further.

"No, Ace. Please, I feel real bad. Stop it," I pleaded, hating the whine in my voice. The wound in my cheek roared with fresh pain from the strain of talking. "You're going too far."

Ace yanked my legs apart, rolling my panties down so roughly they chafed my thighs. I heard him unbuckling his belt and groaned against the shirt.

"Ace…"

He kissed my naked chest, sucking on the side of my left breast. I shivered. Ace, over the time we had been together, had fucked me violent so often that I'd almost started to _like_ it. But now the idea of more pain made my guts squirm like snakes.

"Shut your fucking mouth, Starling," said Ace. My stomach fluttered. He'd never used my surname before, at least, not since that first day we clashed in the street. The way he spat out the 's' put chills down my spine. "It's a little late for sweet-talk now, don't you think?"

And before I could say another word he dug his fingers into my waist and thrust inside me so hard my head cracked against the floor. It was too much for me to take. I blacked out for the first, but _not_ the last, time in my life. It's one of the scariest things that ever happened to me, and I've been through a lot of shit. I remember lying there in this fuzzy haze of unconsciousness, unable to think or move or anything at all. It was almost like being dead. Then a little of my mind came back, and even though I was still pretty out of it I knew what was happening to me and was afraid.

Ace was fucking me harder than he'd ever done before, his harsh animal grunts loud in my ear. Blearily, I figured he knew as well as I did this would be the last time we ever slept together. He was making it something special, in his own messed-up way. I found myself thinking about our first time in the back of his car all those months ago. The tears on my face, the stink of beer and gasoline, the texture of the seats beneath me… it was all so clear in my head. We'd only been together two days when it happened. He didn't waste his time, that was for sure…

I was eating ice cream in a seedy café when Ace asked me out. I sat hunched up in my booth, legs swinging to and fro under the table. It was a nervous habit I'd picked up since I stopped talking to Liz and Candy. I missed them both so damned much. There were other girls I hung out with and occasionally some boys, but it just wasn't quite the same. I spotted Candy once hurrying down the road with her mother, head bowed so that she wouldn't have to make eye contact with me. She'd gotten so skinny, and her hair was limp and greasy like she'd suddenly stopped washing it.

Liz was the complete opposite. I'd been told that she'd moved to Derry with her father and was now some pretty little rich girl. I decided not to care. My life wasn't too bad. I had enough money for ice-cream, after all, and I hadn't been beat up for weeks. The sun was finally coming out from behind the clouds. But I still felt lonely as hell, and the more I sat there the worse it got.

I closed my eyes and wished I'd never clashed with Ace Merrill.

"This sucks," I muttered, pushing the ice cream away across the table. Suddenly I hadn't the stomach to eat any more. I glanced moodily around the café, fists clenched in my lap, and noticed a commotion in the corner. Two boys were arm wrestling, and a small crowd had gathered around to watch. One of them was a red headed kid with a cap screwed backward on his head. The other I recognised all too well. It was Ace, sleeves rolled up past his elbows, with a cigarette dangling from his lip. He had the other boy cursing and sweating like a pig.

"You got him, Ace!" someone cried, slapping him on the back. It was Eyeball Chambers, grinning like a fool as his friend slammed down the red head's arm with a dull smack. Ace grinned lazily, leaning back in his seat as if it was nothing. He looked horribly pleased with himself.

"Didn't we say the loser was buying a round of drinks?" he said, causing the crowd to cheer uproariously at the idea. I slunk down into my chair, wondering how I was going to leave without Ace catching sight of me. Keeping quiet as I could, I clambered down under my table and watched as the boys flirted with the waitress who came to take their orders. I heard them talking about her as she tottered away in her heeled shoes.

"Kinda cute, ain't she?"

"Good tits, too. You think she'd let me cop a feel if I gave her an extra large tip?"

"Dream on, Charlie. The only girl who'll let you touch 'em is your Mother."

The boys laughed, dolling out more joking insults between their perverted comments. They seemed like normal guys, except they were a lot more aggressive. Small fights kept breaking out between them, along with some nasty threats I didn't much like the sound of. They got worse when the drinks arrived, but cleared up as Ace caught sight of the pretty waitress again. He slapped her ass, causing her to squeal and flush with humiliation. I knew how she felt. I still hadn't got over what Ace had done to me.

It seemed Ace hadn't forgotten either, for about a minute later he turned to Eyeball and said, "You seen _Shane_ lately?"

"What, the big-mouthed tomboy kid? Oh yeah, I've seen her all right. She's put a little weight on top lately if you know what I mean. And her ass… for a skinny chick, it ain't half bad. Shame she ain't much to look at."

Silently, I crawled out from under the table and sat back in my seat. I was hopping mad, but I didn't let it show. I just sat and listened, gazing down at the melted ice-cream like it was the only thing in the world.

"It'd be like banging a bag of bones," Eyeball continued.

"You only say that 'cause you only ever fucked fat chicks," Ace shot back.

There was yet more laughter from everyone apart from Eyeball, who gave Ace a long, intense look.

"What, you're not seriously considering _dating _her, are you? Like, going steady and all," he asked.

Ace shrugged, stubbing the cigarette out on the outside of his beer glass.

"Why not? I've got nothing to lose."

"Yeah, 'cept your reputation."

Ace glared at him. Eyeball immediately quietened down.

"It might be... _fun_," said Ace. "Next time I see her, I'm gonna ask."

I let out a tiny sound at the mere idea of hooking up with him. It was barely more than a squeak, but Ace heard anyway. He turned around in his seat, one eyebrow quirked, and smiled at me. I felt myself grow pale.

"Hello again, Shane."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Well, here's the latest chapter of Dead Meat. I think the story's gonna be over in another two, but we'll see. Please Read and Review xx**

The taste of ice cream went sour in my mouth as Ace grinned at me, his face both sly and nastily triumphant at the same time. I tell you, I was so terrified of him that I was sure I gonna piss my pants or throw up or both. But I never did. I just sat there, jaw a-hanging so dumbly you'd have thought I hadn't so much as half a brain in my head. My eyes were goggling, and when I reached up to clap a hand over my mouth I saw that it was shaking.

Ace noticed, all right. He noticed and _liked_ it. Leaning back in his seat, he tossed a smug glance at Eyeball and the other guys. They clustered round him, craning their necks to look at me. Most of their eyebrows were hoiked high up on their foreheads, and a few sniggers passed between them. I'll bet they were wondering why in hell Ace was interested in a kid like me.

I wondered about that too. Ace could've had practically any girl in Castle Rock, but out of all them he'd homed in on me. _Me!_ I wasn't even pretty, and never would be. My nose was snubbed and turned up at the tip like an elf's, and my shape wasn't anything to write home about. I never wore make-up, couldn't even walk in heels, but here was Ace giving me the same look he'd given the curvy waitress. It was horrible, but at the same time I felt… _flattered_. I know, it's ridiculous, but it's true all the same. I was _proud_ that Ace wanted me, no matter how much I hated him.

"You remember me, don'tcha Shane?" asked Ace, knowing full well the answer was yes. "Eyeball too, since we got so well acquainted last time we met. I think it's about time you met the rest of the boys. Why don't you introduce yourself?"

I shook my head. There was no way I could speak. My jaw was locked up tight, and my tongue was drier than a sand dune. I couldn't have talked if my whole life depended on it. Ace waited a little while, watching me in obvious amusement.

Then he turned to the gang and said, "This is Shane Starling. Don't get too rough with her, all right? She might just get rough back."

He tossed me a sly smirk. I knew what he was thinking of and flushed red.

"We hear you," one of the boys said to Ace, bringing my attention back to them. "We promise to play nice."

The rest of them echoed him in a playfully sarcastic kind of way.

"Sure, sure, we're the perfect gentlemen."

"Won't find nobody better in the whole of Castle Rock."

"Y'can always trust a Cobra, right boys?"

I looked from one face to the other, feeling more and more desperate by the minute. I hoped that somebody would realise how scared I was and pull me out of there, but they were all just like Eyeball- hard, uncaring and devoted to Ace. They'd no more help me than spit in their leader's eye. Wide-eyed, I wheeled round in my seat towards the waitress serving the next booth along. She must've realised what was going on; after all, there was no way she could've missed her friend being touched up by Ace. But all she did was snap her gum and roll her eyes at me, like I was the one causing trouble. Suddenly I couldn't stand it anymore. I scrambled off my chair and got to my feet, knocking the empty ice cream tub to the ground with a messy clatter.

"Where you going?" asked Ace. His grin was wider than ever. "We haven't finished talking yet."

"I'm leavin'," I said, a tad sharper than I'd meant to be. "Mom's expectin' me back. I gotta go home."

Ignoring the chuckles and catcalls from the Cobras, I brushed past their table and headed for the door. Ace watched me for a moment or two, smile still froze on his lips.

_He's gonna let me go_, I thought stupidly. _He was just teasin' me all along._

But he wasn't teasing. The second I touched the doorknob I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder and spin me round. Not forcefully, you understand. It was more gentle, like fathers are when they're playing with their kids. But Ace wasn't my Dad, and he sure as hell wasn't kidding with me. One look at the stony glint in those cold, wolf-like eyes of his was enough to let me know exactly how serious he was about me.

"Whadda ya want?" I asked. "Just tell me that."

"Oh, I will," said Ace, and pulled a Zippo lighter out of the pocket of his jeans. He put it to the end of a fresh cigarette and blew a cloud of smoke in my face. "In my own good time."

He did, too. He made me sit down with him, his arm slung around my shoulders, and made me wait until I could hardly stand it anymore. Then he slapped me on the thigh and said, "How 'bout we go steady, huh?"

My jaw dropped. I'm not kidding, neither. My mouth literally fell open like a cartoon idiot's and I gawped at him. I must've looked kind of stupid, gawking like that. In any case, I shut my trap quick and rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand. I'd known Ace liked me, if only a little, in the way a dog likes a bitch, but I never thought he'd actually ask me out like that. Never ever, as I used to say when I was a brat. But he'd done it, and now he and all his cronies were waiting for a reply. And you know what I said?

Yeah, you guessed it.

I said yes.

I'll tell you now, I've never regretted anything more than that one simple word. Sometimes I spend all night just staring at the ceiling, wondering how things'd be if I hadn't accepted. I make up all kinds of stupid scenarios, imagining myself as a pretty girl with permed curls and pretty dresses, all sweet and super cool. Pretty silly, I know. That could never be me, no matter how things took their course. If I'd have dared say 'no' to Ace Merrill he'd have ripped me a hole where I ought not to have one, or at least given me a good old-fashioned beating. Or maybe he'd go a step further and laugh in my face, humiliating me in front of everyone. I don't know. Ace could've done all of that and more, but as it was all he did was stick his tongue down my throat.

Over the next couple of days I toughened up plenty, learning how to use my sharp tongue and losing my fear of the Cobras. I neither liked nor respected them, and I'm pretty sure they felt the same way about me. Ace was the only one I was scared of, because unlike his friends he was willing to hurt me. I learned about that at the end of our first week together. It was totally unexpected. One minute I was cracking some stupid joke, the next I was flat on my back with my eye swelling up like there was no tomorrow. I'm not even sure what I said wrong. Whatever it was, Ace didn't like it.

"You watch your mouth, Shane," he told me, and I did, most of the time.

Pretty soon Ace started to hint that he wanted something more than just a few gropes and the odd smooch every now and then. I made up a shit-load of excuses to keep him off me. He got wise to me damn quick. He started sweet-talking me, offering me drinks and chocolates and all kinds of things, but I just wouldn't give. Then, as he always did, he resorted to threats. They were filthy ones too, real dark. I felt sick just listening to him sometimes. Still I wouldn't give in. So what did he do?

He got me drunk.

I never could handle alcohol well. A few liquors down the line and I was well out of it, staggering like a lame horse and laughing till my head ached. The Cobras, who were used to drinking, sniggered at me. They all looked like blurs in the dark. My vision was swimming and sparking all over the place so I couldn't see straight. Only Ace showed up clear, his pale eyes piercing the fog of drink like headlamps. He was sat smoking a cigarette on the hood of his car. I tottered over to him and kissed his cheek.

"C'mere," said Ace, and pulled me onto his lap. I clung to him like a kid, arms wound right around his neck. I felt so dizzy by now I didn't have much of a choice. But as drunk as I was, I had the presence of mind to flinch when he opened my blouse.

"Looks like you're getting some tonight, Ace," said Eyeball, glancing over at us.

"Maybe I am," said Ace.

He was squeezing the tops of my breasts so much it hurt. Mumbling into his neck, I pushed his hands away. I might've been fogged with liquor, but I wasn't entirely out of it. But I was drunk enough to allow Ace to hoist me up onto my feet and walk me to the back of his car. I gripped the top of the door, stomach lurching. For a second I was convinced I was gonna puke. Then the feeling passed, and I found myself staring up at Ace through a mist of confusion.

"Where we goin'?" I asked him. I wasn't even a bit suspicious. "You takin' me home?"

"Later," said Ace impatiently, and pushed me into the car.

I tumbled clumsily onto the back seat, giggling like a fool. All of a sudden I could see the stars, millions of them, all splashed out in the sky and looking so pretty it damn near took my breath away. I'd never really noticed them before. To me, planets and shit were now more special than blades of grass. But I was so drunk that they seemed like the best thing since rock 'n' roll. It was probably because I was so busy staring at those things that I didn't notice Ace getting into the car till he was right on top of me.

"It's about time we fucked, don'tcha think?" he asked softly.

I couldn't answer. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool.

Ace peeled my pants off, rolling them down past my knees, and unzipped his own in three seconds flat. Everything was moving too fast for me. In the end, I didn't even fight him. I just lay there, stunned and sick, as Ace slid a hand under my ass and took my virginity in one thrust. I was so drunk I didn't feel nothing. All the same, a few tears welled up in my eyes and blinded me. Ace slammed into me over and over, his hips grating against mine as we fucked on those damned car seats. His tongue slipped into my mouth a few times, and sometimes he'd pause to mutter something dirty into my ear, but mostly all I remember is the sound of the Cobras talking amongst themselves and the harsh sound of Ace's breath in my ear.

I sobered up pretty good by the time he was finished. By then I knew for sure that I hated Ace Merrill, and always would. I didn't think of us screwing as rape for a long time. Back then, a lot of girls popped their cherry that way and never got no sympathy from talking about it. Besides, most folks would've said it was my fault for drinking too much or not trying to defend myself. That's bullshit. Ace raped me, and he always _would_ rape me, although in time I got horribly used to that. I wanted him like a hen wants a flag, and in my mind that's all that matters.

Anyhow, Ace knew I didn't want to fuck him all along. After he came, he lay on top of me just staring at me in the dark. I looked right back, tears all dried away. My fists were screwed up tight at my sides.

"Get off me," I said, clear as a bell. "You just get right off me. You got what you wanted. At least have the decency to damn well leave me alone."

Ace sneered.

"You're a frigid little bitch," he told me. "Screwing you is like fucking a rock."

"Yeah? Well, why don'tcha go bone the statue of Liberty and see how she likes it, huh?"

Ace pushed me away so hard you'd never have believed he'd been all over me just one minute ago. He looked disgusted.

"You talk big for a hatchet-faced whore. You're nothing, you know that? You're just a piece of scum I picked off the streets and a lousy lay, too."

"Then why do you still want me?" I asked, but he never replied.

And you know something? I don't think I'll ever know the answer.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Oh God, I'm so sorry about the wait! I've had tons of revision, several holidays and trips away, and a lot of writer's block. So to compromise I'm giving you an extra long chapter. The next one will be the last. I hope you enjoy this. Please Read and Review xx**

**

* * *

**So now you know how Ace and I got together. It ain't an impressive story by no stretch of imagination, but it feels good to get it all out. Bad memories build up over time and creep up on you when you least expect it. I've woken up in the middle of the night dripping with sweat, remembering all the shit Ace used to pull and feeling sick because of it. I dream he's after me and I can't get away, and when he catches me he hacks at me with that switchblade till my face just peels off in his hands. It gets so real I'll get up to look in the mirror, convinced all I'll see is naked eyeballs staring out of a slab of raw meat.

It's dumb, I know. There are women who've been through a lot more than me, yet they've put it all behind them clean as a whistle. One chick got her hand nailed to a _door_, for God's sake, and she's so chipper nowadays you'd never even guess. You see? A few broken bones and an ugly scar ain't nothing compared to that. I guess I'm lucky. I should be grateful all I have to put up with these days is the odd nightmare from time to time.

Now, I suppose you wanna know how I got free from Ace after blacking out. Well, I'd better backtrack to where I left off some time ago. Where was I? Oh, yeah…

So there I was, flat out on my own living room floor like a drunk after an extra long bar crawl on a Friday night. Blood covered my face and hair, sticking my eyelashes into clumps. The stuff kept pumping out of me as regular as ever. I'd woken up by now so I could feel it dripping, bead by bead, over my cheeks.

That wasn't all I could feel, neither. Ace was still fucking me_._ Disgusted, I struggled to sit up and push him away, but he was too heavy to budge an inch. He weighed a great deal more than me and besides, he had both his hands planted square on my shoulders. Shoving him off simply wasn't an option. So I lay still again and tried to figure out what to do. I've mentioned before that I'm good at getting out of things- my brains make up for the lack of looks, I guess. But thinking right then was tough to do. My head felt fuzzy, like it was stuffed with cotton wool, and the knife gash was throbbing so much I was badly distracted from my thoughts. It didn't help that stupid shirt was still draped over my head.

Gingerly, I tilted my neck to the side in the hope of shaking it off. It slid a little, the tip of a sleeve crumpling with a soft rustle to the floor. I froze, praying Ace hadn't noticed. He didn't react. He just kept on screwing with the same sick hunger as before. One of his hands slid down under my ass and squeezed. I gritted my teeth. The torn shreds of his fingers where I'd bitten him felt _vile _against me. I wished I'd had the guts to gnaw them right off. I hated the hot, wetness of them as they slithered over my skin, hated it so much I could barely stand it. To distract myself, I concentrated on the shirt again.

It seemed rather heavy for a thin piece of cotton, although maybe that was just because I felt so dizzy and weak. Slowly as possible I turned my head to the side and allowed it to slide off me. _Big _mistake. The brief contact it made with my cheek caused the pain to flare as fresh as ever. I tell you, if cuts could scream that was what it did. Hell, it was worse than that. It _shrieked. _

My breath caught in my lungs so I couldn't yell, but my hands worked just fine. In some kind of reflex action I reached up to clutch my face, fingers curling in towards the palm. Unlucky for me, _something_ got in the way.

Yeah, you guessed it.

Ace did.

I tried not to hit him. By god, I tried. But my knuckles had already struck his temples by the time I had mind to do it, and although I was too weak to do any damage I knew I'd surprised him. From the look on his face I could tell I'd made him come early.

Ace never did that, so long as he could help it. Not ever.

"Oh shit," I blurted out. I screwed my eyes up tight and waited for him to smack me. "I didn't mean…"

"Shut the fuck up," said Ace. He pulled out of me, lips knotted in a sneer of disgusted frustration. I felt him, half-hard, against my thigh, and gulped.

"Don't waste your breath," he continued. "I ain't gonna mess up your fuck-ugly face any more than I already have. Don't wanna scare folks too much, do you?"

I narrowed my eyes, loathing him.

"Speak for yourself, limp dick. I pity your Mom for having to look up at _that_ train wreck every time you do the dog."

Ace, who was busy fastening up his pants, paused in his tracks. He fixed me with the chilliest look I ever saw, daring me to keep talking. At first I didn't take him up on it; merely scooted away from him across the carpet like a frightened little mouse. I didn't have the strength to stand up. My head was spinning so much it was like I was sitting on some kind of insane fairground attraction. With a dull groan, I crawled across to the couch and dragged myself up onto it. I glanced behind me. I'd left a sticky, drying trail of blood in my wake, although considering the state of the rest of the living room that didn't matter anymore. It looked a little like an abattoir by now. I knew for sure my mother was going to go crazy when she came home.

No, worse than that. She'd cry instead, mouth open in that helpless, gasping way of hers, and ask why I had to go hurt myself again. Deep down she'd know Ace'd done a number on me, but she'd never be able to admit it. After all, I knew why she was always having 'headaches' and making excuses not to talk to people. She was afraid, afraid of everything, and that was what drove Dad away from her all those years ago.

She couldn't help it. It was in her nature to be edgy, and she'd been that way for as long as I can remember. My earliest memory of fully acknowledging it, however, was when I was six or seven years old and getting to be a real troublemaker. Mom was pinning sheets up on the line in the back yard, her brow furrowed so deep that to look at her you'd think it was the hardest thing in the world. I was riding my tricycle up and down the neatly kept lawn, happy as can be. A couple of times I fell and scratched a knee, but overall I was doing pretty well. Even so, Mom wasn't cheery about how fast I was going. She kept looking at me and biting her lip, nostrils twitching rabbit-style as she exhaled.

I could see her worry building up inside of her. It was boiling away behind her tight, powdered face like a kettle full of hot water. It was all she could do not to let it bubble over. Not knowing what else to do I flashed her a brief, gap-toothed smile, just to let her know I was doing fine. But it didn't satisfy her. Nothing would. I gave up on her and kept on riding my trike. Things went along smoothly for a while. I can remember humming a _Chordettes_ number under my breath, half-listening to the squeak of tricycle wheels, the rustle of the trees, the damp flap of the sheets in the summer breeze. This wasn't half bad, I thought to myself.

Then the trike's front wheel hit a rock and went over on its side, taking me with it.

As I landed I took a knock to my forehead- nothing serious, but enough to stun me for a couple of seconds or so. It didn't really hurt all that much. My teachers always used to say I had a skull like an iron helmet, marvelling at my ability to shake off head injuries as if they were nothing. As usual, I sat up and rubbed the sore spot without feeling too worse for wear. I was ready to hop back on the trike again almost immediately. But when I grinned up at my Mother I saw that she'd burst into tears. A stream of mucus started to run down her upper lip, yet she didn't bother to wipe it away. Instead she dropped the basket of wet sheets to the ground and walked back inside the house, shutting the door quietly behind her. I was left out there alone, utterly nonplussed in the way kids often are in such situations.

Yeah, Mom always was a nervous character. She never wanted to see me get hurt in any way, and would rather pretend it wasn't happening than try to deal with it like a regular Mom. These days she'd probably be classed with some kind of anxiety disorder. I figure that's what she must have had to make her that way. But back then I thought she was just cold and uncaring. Maybe that's why the thought of her seeing the blood on the carpet made me so angry. Angry with her, angry with Ace. Most of all angry with myself for letting all this happen to myself.

I dragged the back of my hand fiercely across my eyes. Tears were prickling at the corners, threatening to fall. I refused to cry in front of Ace now. I would rather have died. I caught him watching me from across the room, eyebrows quirking, and couldn't stand it.

"Get the fuck outta here," I snarled. "_Now_. You got what you _wanted_, right?"

Those last words sounded horribly familiar spoken aloud. Suddenly I realised I'd said that exact thing to him the very first time he screwed me and shivered, goose bumps cropping up on the backs of both arms. It was a weird coincidence all right. More than weird. It was spooky. Ace didn't pick up on it though, and I never would have expected him to. But I found myself wondering if, subconsciously, I'd meant to say that sentence all along.

"Bet your fern I did," said Ace sarcastically in answer to my question. 'Bet your fern' was a phrase a lot of kids used back then, in Maine especially. I could never hear it again without thinking of Ace. He strode across to me and caught hold of my chin, studying the wreck he'd made of my face with a mean satisfaction. He looked so smug, so damn handsome, that for a second I thought I'd go insane. But I didn't. Instead I tried to hit him, planning to crush his nose or at least chip a tooth. Ace grabbed my hand easily and held it away from me.

"You wanna stop that?" he asked me. He looked amused. "Careful, baby. You might break something."

I didn't like the way this was going.

"You're a bastard, Ace Merrill," I told him. "I hope somebody kills you someday, if I don't get round to doing it myself. And you know something? When that happens I'll piss on your grave and shit on the mother-fucking headstone."

I grinned nastily, expecting this to give him a hell of a blow. Ace looked at me long and hard. Then he laughed at me- actually _laughed_ at me –and shoved me away, letting me fall back against the sofa. The look he gave me made a pang of cold humiliation sprout in my gut. I'd pumped myself up to face Ace and kick him out with pride, but here I was messed up and defeated as usual. In a way, it was as if nothing had changed. But it had. Things would never be the same again. Nothing ever is after a break up.

Ace left my house without another word, leaving the door swinging wide open on its hinges. It let in a breeze that normally wouldn't have bothered me. However, I was feeling so miserable and cut up that I made myself get up to close it. That done, I dragged myself upstairs on my ass like a toddler and shuffled wearily into the bathroom, body limp with exhaustion. The mirror was hung up over the sink. Grunting with effort, I managed to pull myself up onto my feet until I was high enough to peer at my reflection.

I took one look at that ripped, dripping fuck-fest of a face and blacked out, smacking my head on the toilet seat on the way down.

* * *

My Mom found me there when she came home the following morning. I wasn't awake to experience anything first hand, but I've asked around since and apparently she screamed so loud that one neighbour knocked a pan of boiling water off the hob and scalded herself. Still, that may have been just a rumour- there were a lot of those flying round Castle Rock that day. There had to be. Practically the entire street came outside to see my Mom carrying me out of the house. She'd refused to call an ambulance, dead set on driving me to the hospital all by herself. I have no idea how she managed to lift me. I'm no lard ass, but for such a weak and skinny woman to pick up a sixteen-year-old girl was some feat. However, she must have managed somehow for I woke up a few hours later in hospital with three nurses hovering over my bed. They'd stitched me up, stopped the bleeding, and now they wanted to know how it had all happened.

What's that? Did I tell them? What do _you_ think?

_Ofcourse_ I didn't tell them. I lied, saying somebody broke into the house to steal something, bumped into me coming out of the bathroom and stabbed me in the face. Then, I told them, he raped me and ran. That accounted for what they'd found 'downstairs' when they gave me a full examination. Obviously the cops tried to get involved, but I fudged things so much they soon gave up on me. After all, if a beat-up girl says she's got memory loss you gotta believe her, right? There was nothing else they could do. I'm sure they had their suspicions, but they kept them all to themselves. It was better that way- for them and for me.

Mom never asked me about what happened, but I think that somehow she knew. That knowledge drove her a little crazy over the years afterwards. Every time she looked at me she'd see Ace with a knife in his hand, carving me up like a Christmas turkey in her very own living room. She never did get those stains out of the carpet. Oh, she tried alright- she spent a full week on her hands and knees, scrubbing and scrubbing until her fingers rubbed raw all over and she had to give it up as a fruitless job. We got a brand new one instead, cheap and ugly but a million times better than the old one.

Sometimes, when Mom wasn't home, I'd lie on my back in the middle of the floor and think of the things Ace had done to me. There were days it came back so clear I could almost taste the blood in my mouth, feel his weigh on top of me. Other days I just felt plain stupid, grasping hold of things I'd much rather forget. But some stuff always sticks with us, no matter how much we try to shake them off. They always come back like a kicked dog, persistent as they ever were.

For me, my biggest bad penny was Ace Merrill…


End file.
